MRI

Today has been one of those days where I just wish I hadn't gotten out of bed! I am in a sea of crap and it feels like I am drowning. I wouldn't say that I have reached a place of brokenness, just a place that I am trying to deal with. It seems that for the last 3 years we have had one medical crisis after another and today is no different. I can't say that today was a medical crisis (except the cost of the procedure is a crisis in itself) but still one that you have to sit back and go okay what is going on now.

I asked myself this "Is God punishing us for something?",

and one thing came into my head, It is not punishment, it is in those times of pain and suffering and confusion that we are to surrender it all and give it to Jesus at the foot of the cross. God brings hardships into our lives for a reason and that is for us to rely on Him and not ourselves to get thru it. Can we cry and scream and be mad? Of course, that is what makes us stronger in our relationship with Him. So many curves thrown our way and we deal with them the best that we know how. We turn to God and rest in His will for our lives not our will for our lives (cuz we all know that it would be different than what He has given us), anyway....

Briana had to have an MRI done today on her ankle per the orthopedic doctor that she saw. He wanted it done because he wants to know what he is dealing with and how to treat it so that it will heal, he is by no means thinking cancer or some other disease (thankfully, we have been there done that and no more please) but this has been a problem for her since October and our family doctor didn't know what to do as the xrays were showing nothing. We won't know the results until the 19th of May, so if any of you are so inclined to pray please add Briana to your prayer list. Peace of mind and comfort and healing for her ankle, wisdom for the doctor to figure out what is going on; a course of action to fix it and make it feel better. Does it hurt her to do things? Only sometimes, it is not an all the time I hate to walk, run, hop, skip or jump on it kind of pain but just a bothersome pain that sometimes those things above can aggravate it and make it feel worse. I have to rely on Jesus and His plans for this girl and leave it all up to Him. Do I hate seeing my children in pain or hardships of any kind? YES!! I never realized that being a mom would ever be this hard. I always thought as the children got older things would get a little easier, boy was I wrong. It seems that the older they get the more complicated our lives seem to get and how busier our lives get also. There is always this or that going on or we are always running here or there. We are also living in tough times and times of uncertainty. Things are tight and it seems to just keep getting tighter and tighter! Will it ever ease up or is this the "new normal"??????

I surrender all again as I always seem to do when times get tough, I lay it at the foot of the cross, I let Christ have it and do with it as only He sees fit, in the end it is He who will get all the glory!!

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13 (NKJ Version)

"Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you" 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)

I am tired now and must end this post! Please keep our family in your prayers! I am certain that things will be alright and we will get thru this but at that particular moment today, I sat back and went "Can I really take anymore that God gives to me?"

The answer to that is a resounding YES for If God brings you to it, He will bring you thru it!!!!

I love you all and hope that you have a blessed night! Tomorrow will be a better day, it is FAKE FRIDAY for me!!!! What can be better than that?????

HUGS!!!!

Cathi