Peace....

Today for me has been about finding inner peace with myself and moving on. In Sunday School today we were talking about the cross and forgiveness. I brought up "what are we as Christians suppose to do when we have asked for forgiveness and the other person is not willing to forgive." My pastor told me (he is our Sunday School teacher), that I have already asked for forgiveness and that is time for me to move on. I need to release it to God and let Him have it. So I spent a good portion of today doing just that. I am letting go of my sister and her lack of forgiveness and moving on. I am no longer going to carry that burden around on my shoulders any longer. I have done what is required of me, and I have been forgiven by what Christ did for me on the cross. Am I happy about the fact that she lives in the past and doesn't want to let go? Of course not, but I am not going to continue to "grovel". That is not what I am suppose to do. It is uplifting to release this to my Lord and Savior. What He does with it now is up to Him, but I am no longer going to take it on as my problem because it is not mine. I have had great conversations with my brother Mike over the last couple of weeks and he has really shed a lot of light on things. Thanks Mike for your thoughts and your words to me, they mean the world! Whatever I do in life, my first focus is Christ, then from there it trickles down to my husband and kids. I have had great conversations with #1 (Briana) over the last several days and I see things changing for me and her in many ways. As I begin to release more and more things to my Lord, the more He helps me in my relationships with my hubby and kids. Her and I had great laughs this afternoon at Wal-Mart and on the way home. I LOVED it!!! I see our relationship flourishing even more when we begin the homeschooling journey in the fall. Even though we will be around each other 24/7, she will no longer have the influences of the secular school system, she will be more open with me and Jason and a lot of her attitude will melt away as she learns to lean on us as her parents but also as she grows in her relationship with Christ. As a teenager, I didn't have that influence. Church for me was a "requirement", go do your 1 hour of "duty" each week. I don't see it that way now, I see it totally different. I want to go to church to fellowship with the body of believers. I love church service, because I am worshipping the One who gave me life. We are but a vapor, here today, gone tomorrow. I don't want to waste one minute more on petty things. Everything happens in my life for a reason, whether it's by God's plan or by His will for my life, I am going forth in His grace and mercy. He is sufficient enough for me.
Thank you Lord Jesus for all You have done and all that You will continue to do in my life, my husbands life and in the lives of my children each and every day.
Peace to all of you who read my blog! You are loved by us and by Christ.

Cathi