Today marks my 4th anniversary from breast cancer. It seems like just yesterday that I got the call from my doctor. I can remember exactly what I was doing the moment he called and what my kids were doing. I remember how the rest of my day went and the phone calls that I had to make. The reactions of loved ones and the support of family. It seems as if it was only yesterday but it has been 4 years, 4 incredible, AMAZING years!!!!
This is a journey that I never thought I would go down. I was young when my mother was diagnosed so I don't remember much but there are things that still enter my mind every now and then. When the news came, it was like the sails had been let out of me. My doctor was concerned about my emotional state and I reassured him that I was fine. I remember calling Jason and telling him the news and hearing defeat in his voice. It was not the news that either of us were expecting. I remember throwing my lunch away (who has an appetite after news like that), and drying my eyes and heading outside where my little Mikayla was waiting for me to come and help her plant some flowers. I put on a happy face and pretended that everything was just fine, when deep down inside I was screaming with fright. Fear of the unknown, fear of what the future held for my children and my husband if I didn't survive. My baby was still a baby, she wasn't even 1 yet, that came almost 2 weeks later. I remember telling Briana, who was only in 3rd grade. So much to lay on such a young child, who doesn't understand life. I remember the day of my biopsy. It was a Friday afternoon. It was painful and left a nasty bruise. I remember driving to school that same night (I was attending Colorado Tech pursuing my Bachelor's Degree in Accounting) and telling myself "no matter what the outcome is, I am going to fight with everything I have inside of me".
Fight is exactly what I did. Fought for my life, fought to stay around to see my children grow, fought to stick around to pester my husband for more years to come. Fought with everything I had inside of me. I prayed, I cried and I relied on those around me for strength.
Then something happened on this journey. I met a wonderful God fearing young lady (and yes she was young, only 20). She had something that was missing from my life and whatever it was I wanted it. I searched, seeked, and asked questions about life and God. I have a wonderful uncle who pointed me in the right direction, a direction towards Christ. I finally found what I was looking for. I didn't find it in religion, or in a church. Instead I found it in Jesus Christ and I didn't find Him until almost a year after my diagnosis. That doesn't matter, what matters is that I finally found Him. He was knocking for many years and I was not answering, He decided to get my attention in a different way.....cancer. That got my attention all right. Loud and clear!
Even to this day, I still say that breast cancer was a blessing in disguise. Does that seem weird to you? To me, it does but when I look back over the past 4 years, in all reality nope it is not weird at all. It has been a blessing. I am grateful for cancer because of what it did for me instead of what it did to me. It pointed me to Him. It has been a journey that I never wanted to go down, but a journey that has a happy ending (so far anyway).
So here is to 4 years and many more to come!! Have a wonderful Saturday!
Cathi
Then (10 days before my hair started coming out in clumps and we needed to shave it off)
Now (taken Easter Sunday)
2 comments:
You're a strong woman Cathi :) I'm glad you're around to raise your family! Happy Anniversary.
absolutely amazing story. Tears are running down my cheeks.
Post a Comment