Tonight (this morning, whatever) finds me unable to sleep.
So many emotions tugging at my heart strings. So many fears, anxiety and everything in between.
While I continue to sift thru the broken and shattered pieces of my life, I wonder.....
1. What good could possibly come from this current battle?
2. How is this working in my favor?
3. What is God trying to teach me during this storm?
4. How will this bring glory to my Savior, Jesus Christ?
So many variables and so many unanswered questions....and I will probably never fully know the answers in this life.
We live in a fallen broken world....ravaged by sin. If we look to ourselves or others for fulfillment, we will always be dissatisfied. There will always be some sort of expectation that will never give you what you fully are searching for. Not drugs, not alcohol, not sex, not your husband/wife, not even an affair. These are the things that the enemy of our souls will tell us we need "to be happy"!
But.....it will never happen in this life. Our true and life sustaining happiness can only be found in the love and person of Jesus Christ. I struggle with this....daily. I am a need to see and feel that love kind of person on a human level. But I know deep in my soul that He is all I need to ride out the storms. It's wrapping my brain around it and putting it into action. I live for an audience of One. But to be honest....I fail at this daily.....I wish I didn't. I wish I was one of those Christians who has it all together, has a near perfect life, with near perfect kids and husband. But I don't....my life is riddled with strife, anger, regret and deep rooted hurts. And only He can lift those burdens I carry and give me rest.
I am broken and I am grieving. I want to see the joy in every moment of every day. Some days are certainly better than others. But I want it every day. But every day that the enemy sucks me into his lies and deceit and I don't challenge those lies and deceit with Truth, I get further and further away from what is true and pure. I slip further away from my relationship with Jesus.
So.....my challenge today and everyday is to sing and praise the Lord with HIS truth and watch the enemy go shrieking back into his dark hole. To try and get out of the rut in the gravel road that keeps getting deeper and deeper the longer I walk in it. To step out of that rut and walk on the firm and flat ground of the Lord.
How do you feel challenged today?
What are you going to do to rise up to that challenge and tell Satan to "take a hike"?
Every day is a struggle.....unless you let go and let God. Allow Him to take over carrying the heavy load you bear!
It just might change everything...if you're willing to allow it.
Be bold, be brave and do it all for the glory of God!
The daughter of the One true King,
Cathi
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