LIFE.....

Funny how this used to be my go to spot to write whatever was on my mind, on my heart or going on in our family! I haven't blogged in a few months again. It seems as though cancer once again wins! I am consumed by cancer and really how it rules my life! I am sick and tired....and I am sick and tired of being sick and tired! I don't journal as much on my caring bridge site either. I just hate that this is my new life....hate that it will one day take me from this life. Leave my husband without a wife, my kids without a mother, my mother without a daughter and my siblings without a sister! Do I live in the doom and gloom of dying soon every day? NOPE!!! But it certainly has a way of creeping into my mind and setting up shop! I try to live in the moment of each day.....try not to plan to far into the future...because I just don't know what that future holds and for how long! I live in 3 month chunks! 3 months between every scan....yes, I still get treatment so that consumes me...but at least for 3 months at a time...I know where the cancer is at and what it is doing...when will the other shoe drop? I have no idea....but one day it will....until then, well I just take it moment by moment! Shouldn't we all??? I am not sure who even comes to this blog anymore. Hard to believe that it has been 4 years since I set this thing up and started writing. I hope to get back at it soon and make this my main outlet! But who knows! I am here....I am alive and so far I am still NED!!!