I have wrestled with this verse a lot lately. I have been stuck in the past for several months now and even more so in the past couple of weeks. The past can't be rewritten, nor can it be changed. It is done, over with and the only thing we can do is learn from those mistakes or regrets. I have many regrets and I have made many terrible mistakes. But.....I also need to let them go and move forward, in hope for the future. A future that is secure and set apart by God. He knows every last detail of my life, nothing that has happened is a surprise to Him. NOTHING that has happened didn't first go through His hands and His will.
So I must first learn to accept what has happened and no matter how bad it hurts, it is a part of God's will for me.
Along with that, there is great hope for my future. One that God will give me that is inline with His perfect will for my life.
I am not perfect and I never claimed to be. I have done terrible things in my life, I have mistreated people closest to me. I have used my words as weapons more often than I care to admit. That alone makes me unworthy of Heaven. But God doesn't see me that way. I am a beautiful child of the One True King. Through His sacrifice on the cross and my repentance, I am worthy of Heaven! He has washed me white as snow.
My adult life has been hard, I have endured cancer, not once but twice, I have had hardship in my marriage, my children have strayed from God. But not once has He left me or forsaken me. He has been there for me, holding me and catching every single tear that has fallen from my eyes. He has seen me through every season, good and bad.
As I continue to walk the road I am walking, He is leading me. More often than not lately, I have been distant. Wanting to do it all on my own and in my own timing. It's not working and I need to let go, surrender it, leave it at the foot of the cross, every single moment of every single day.
My husband said it best tonight when we prayed together before bed, "it is only because of You that we are lying here together in this bed." Our story is filled with heartache, lots of heartache. But we also know that only because of God and His grace and mercy, are we still together. Learning to do life on His terms and not ours. To love, honor and cherish each other like He does. And when the final chapter of our story is written, we both want to hear "well done good and faithful servant"
How is your walk with Christ going? What is He trying to teach you each day? Are you willing to surrender your will for His? Are you willing to do life on His terms, or your own? Seek first the kingdom of God! He really is good all the time.
In Christ's love,
Cathi
