6 Bottelberghe's: 10 years.....

10 years ago today my world was ROCKED by a simple phone call from my family doctor.

10 years ago life was clicking along, I was doing excellent in school and was looking forward to a full summer load to move graduation up, in 11 days we were gonna celebrate our youngest child's 1st birthday, and we were getting our house ready to put on the market and finally move out of our little house. 10 years ago life was finally starting to making sense and I was enjoying every bit of it. I didn't have time for this.....

Breast cancer!

Has 10 years really passed? Yes, in the blink of an eye! I wish I was still celebrating this milestone with being cancer free...but sadly I am not BUT I am still ALIVE and doing quite well under the circumstances.

That baby who turned 1 11 days after my biopsy came back positive for cancer (who didn't celebrate her 1st birthday on the day she turned 1 because I was in the hospital recovering from a bilateral mastectomy), turns 11 in just 11 days.

I can still remember what I was doing when Dr. Rector called to give me the biopsy results. I still remember what it was like calling Jason to give him the news, and I remember what it was like having to call my parents and Jason's parents to let them know what was going on. I still remember the raw, devastating emotions of that day and the days that followed. My kids were so young. Briana was only 9 1/2 (ironically the same age I was when my mom learned she had breast cancer), Mikayla was 4 1/2, Colby was just 2 and Keara was 11 days away from her 1st birthday!

Sometimes those raw, devastating emotions are still evident even 10 years later. Especially today, always on this date. Every year I walk through this date wondering what might have been, but I also remember and try to celebrate my life. Because even though I still have cancer, I am still here fighting for my life every day.

Jason and I have spent a better part of our marriage dealing with cancer. Married a short 6 1/2 years when cancer reared it's ugly head the first time and then just 11 years when it came back. We will celebrate 17 years in October. We have seen our fair share of hard times and somehow we have pulled through it all. Sometimes even stronger than we were when it started.

My kids have spent a better part of their childhood dealing with cancer in their lives. They have watched the roller coaster of emotions with me. The good times and the bad times. The times when we weren't sure I was going to survive another round of chemo. My kids are resilient, troopers, if you will! I couldn't be more proud of all of them. So I know that no matter what happens with me and this beast I fight against everyday, my kids will be okay and they will survive when I am gone, as will Jason, and that brings a bit of comfort to my soul.

Does that mean I want to go anywhere right now? Heck NO! But that is ultimately NOT up to me! But I do know the ONE who holds my life in HIS hands each and every day! The ONE who has seen me through every peak and every valley. The ONE who has carried me when I was unable to stand, walk or even crawl because my soul was beaten down along with my body! I am HIS and that alone gives me comfort beyond understanding!

So today, celebrate YOUR life with all the strength and gusto that you have! Be thankful for good health, family and friends!

While I don't like the fact that I am battling stage 4 breast cancer each and every day and today has been emotional and hard for me.....I am beyond grateful that 5 1/2 years later I am still here and I am still FIGHTING! My quality of life is wonderful! I am still dealing with some not so pleasant side effects, but I AM ALIVE so I will deal with those nasties as best I can and in the way I feel is best for me! Not ideal but doable!

So live each day to the fullest, love often and fully and be grateful for each and every day you are blessed with! We only get to go around this earth once do it fully!

Thanks for being along for this huge ride! Thanks for always being there praying me through the good and the bad!

I am grateful for all the LORD has blessed me with through the years! Even cancer! I will leave you with a look back over the years in a few pictures!

Eternally HIS,

Cathi

me and my kids right before all my hair fell out the first time around! June 2005