Great comfort....

Today is the day. The "big" day. Today I get to go and get lit up a like a Christmas Tree. I am not looking forward to this PET/CT scan today, but I know that this is the next step in getting to the bottom of the pain I am experiencing. I have had great comfort the last couple of days. Yesterday I went in spurts. I was good, then I was down and crying, then I was good again, then I was crying again. In the midst of it, God always stepped in at the right moment. My Christian mentor, Pat, called at just the right time yesterday in the middle of a meltdown as my children were down for some "rest time"! I was reading my bible, my devotional and praying when the tears overcame me. The phone rang and it was Pat. It was 7 minutes of pure comfort. She told me to remember back to the day that I accepted Christ. Remember what I saw and how I felt. She told me to remember that God never gives us more than we can handle. She reminded me that there was a reason for this, and to keep my focus on Him. When I hung up, I went back to room and laid down. I went back to that day in 2006 when I accepted Christ. I remembered what I saw and how I felt. I was overcome with peace. I could see Him standing there with His arms stretched out to me. He took me in His arms and I was comforted. I cried some more and all I kept hearing was "it will all be ok, I am here". I was talking to Jason about my day as he made dinner last night and I started to cry again. He said to me "ya know, it is okay to cry". That was helpful. I was talking my best friend yesterday afternoon and I was telling her, "all I keep asking is why me? why not someone else? I don't want this but not that I would wish this on anyone else either, but why me?" She response was "i understand that feeling, and I would say that also but I would also be saying "why not me?" So "why not me?", God has something up His sleeve with all of this. My children are closer, as are Jason and I. We have had some great bonding time together these last several months. As another friends reminded me....this could be Him preparing us for such a time as this. We will get throug this, we will survive no matter what the test shows. I am comforted knowing that God is in control and while I don't want to endure this again, I have such a strong faith, that He will again see me through this too, if I indeed have cancer again. Somethings I have been given by friends, have come across or read the last few days have helped me tremendously.

Daniel 10:19 says "and he said, "O man greatly beloved, fear not! Peace be to you; be strong, yes, be strong!"(NKJV)

Psalm 91:2 says "I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust." (NKJV)

John 14:27 says "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (NKJV)

There are many more, but for now that is all I have for you. I trust that the Lord will see me through this. I still have this above my computer "If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it!!!". I had that above my computer when I was diagnosed the first time around. I have a stronger faith this time around and I know that no matter what He is my constant and He will never fail me or my family. I will leave you with this last thing.....this was in my morning devotional today....very appropriate!

"Our unknown future is secure in the hands of our all-knowing God"

Take refuge loved ones in the hands of the Almighty! I have, even in the midst of the storm!!! I love you all deeply!

Cathi